diana pressey

When I was in middle school, my mom and I had a screaming match for the ages.

It was when we lived in Santa Barbara—I was halfway through seventh grade when she announced that we were moving. Again.

The whole situation was delightfully melodramatic; my tears soaked several pillows that night. I was just starting to grow into my personality and had cultivated a solid group of friends I loved, and I wasn’t ready to give that up to start afresh. But my preteen hysterics were no match for her iron will and future plans, so we moved to San Diego in November 2014.

At first, I was too miserable to notice, but it eventually would turn out to be my favorite so far of all the places we’d lived.

I’ve moved every 2 to 4 years since I was a baby, often halfway through the school year. It felt like every time I got comfortable and settled where I was, I was uprooted. In fact, I felt rootless.

I was born in San Francisco, and we moved to Orinda when I was little. Next was L.A., then Santa Barbara, then San Diego. I went to tiny Cedar City, Utah for college because I couldn’t afford it in California, and Southern Utah University offered me a full ride. A year after my family relocated to North Carolina, I transferred to UNC.

There have been so many times when I’ve been felt insecure and alone in a new place. It wasn’t fun starting over so often, especially when everyone already had established cliques at school that I basically had to infiltrate to make friends. But that doesn’t mean it was necessarily a bad thing, either. In fact, I’d say it was pretty damn important.

The cyclical relocation process gave me no choice but to develop some pretty valuable transferable skills. These include strong relationship building, adaptability, communication, stress management, and so many more.

I have essentially lived outside my comfort zone for half my life. I’ve befriended people I never imagined I’d interact with, and it has yielded a lot of growth. I’m not as risk-averse as I once was, and I’ve learned to be comfortable with myself without external validation. The difficulty I faced was necessary to build character. I think my mom knew that.

I think everyone should move somewhere they haven’t lived before at some point in their life. Call this my Moving Manifesto. Switching locations doesn’t just build character and improve social skills; it also forces you to be comfortable in your own skin despite the pressure of an uncomfortable situation.

People tend to hate change, but it’s a natural part of life and the growing process that we have to face. I’m so unbelievably tired of starting afresh, but I’ll do it again, if I have to. I will go wherever opportunity takes me—and so should you.