Here’s a song to set the mood.
I woke up feeling a bit sad today, and I wasn’t sure why.
There, I said it. It shouldn’t be difficult to state something so simple.
But in a culture that stigmatizes emotional honesty and tends to equate sadness to weakness, I feel the pressure to hide my negative emotions constantly. I feel it when I hide in a bathroom to cry on a particularly bad day, or answer “How are you?” with “Okay, you?” by default, every single time, no matter how I’m feeling. I know I’m not alone in this. I think a lot of people are afraid to cry in front of others, or might even have trouble expressing sadness in a healthy way.
It’s easier to isolate yourself emotionally and avoid difficult conversations than to face your sadness head-on. But the truth is that this kind of emotional suppression can be incredibly unhealthy. It’s damaging not only to the psyche, but also to physical health.
Suppressing sadness is physically and mentally bad for you
This was true in the 80’s and is still true now. The tendency to suppress emotions has been correlated with a higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and asthma. People who suppress their emotions often are more likely to have bad immune systems, bone weakness, and bad memory—not to mention anxiety and depression.
Relationships also suffer from emotional suppression. It’s harder to communicate effectively and pick up on social cues when you aren’t aware of your own and others’ emotions.
This doesn’t mean that everyone should cry or scream like a banshee every time they’re mildly inconvenienced, no matter how great the temptation. There’s always a time and place, but it’s crucial to have that time and place available when you need it.
When in doubt, let it out (emotional outlets matter!)
When I get sad or angry, I like to write it out. I have a couple of journals that I use to get all of my negative energy out. If I’m out and about, I’ll use the notes app on my phone. I’ve also taken up painting recently.
If I’m not feeling inspired or motivated, it’s also always nice to bury myself in fiction for a while. It can be dangerous to do this too much; in the long run, escaping from reality for too long is not healthy. But in the short term, it’s a great way to distract yourself until you’re ready to deal with whatever it is that’s bothering you. I love to read books and watch movies that make me sob dramatically like I’m in a music video. All of it helps to release the sadness and let go of the things that are making me miserable. Find what works for you personally, then use it to deal with your sadness.
Crying in front of people can strengthen relationships
I’ve gotten so much closer to people by going Full Crybaby in front of them. Once someone has seen your ugly crying face, there’s really no going back. Having a shoulder to cry on can make all the difference in kick-starting the healing process. It reduces feelings of loneliness and makes you feel more supported.
I once even cried in front of my boss when my dog passed away a couple years ago. She encouraged me to let out my emotions as needed, and it made me feel more comfortable in the space. Knowing she wasn’t judging me made our professional relationship stronger because I knew I could trust her.
Emotional expression makes you strong, not weak
It takes a lot of bravery to be vulnerable. The idea that expressing sadness makes people weak is a myth. Find your time, place, and people to express yourself with, and don’t hold back..
There’s nothing wrong with feeling negative emotions—in fact, they’re necessary for mental health. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with talking about it in the right context; it’s proven to help.
I woke up sad today, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Diana Pressey is a senior advertising/public relations major at UNC-Chapel Hill. She’s also an editorial and content marketing intern at InHerSight and campaigns team lead at the 1893 Brand Studio. In her free time, she enjoys reading and writing, dancing badly at concerts, belly laughing, and hanging out with other people’s pets. Click here to learn more about her, here to read previous blog posts, and here to get in touch.